The mental health of children is one of the primary concerns of parents going through a divorce. Communicating with your children and helping them cope with a stressful process is important, but it is possible that your children may begin interfering with your divorce. Movies like The Parent Trap make children reuniting divorced parents seem fun when in reality, children working against your divorce often creates more heartache than it solves. During your divorce, recognizing the signs of interference from your children can help you determine whether or not your children are sabotaging your divorce negotiations.
Are They Spying for Your Spouse?
Even though keeping children out of the middle of your relationship is one of the first rules of divorce, it is possible that your spouse will ignore that courtesy for expediency. Obtaining information about you and your personal or legal plans can help your spouse get the divorce settlement that he or she desires. If your child is eager to please the other parent, desperate to do what he or she thinks will stop the divorce, or angry and looking for ways to lash out at you, then he or she may tell the other parent everything you are doing.
Are They Trying to Make You Do Things Out of Guilt?
Children of any age who are angry about a divorce may start using their parents’ concern or guilt against them. Children may start out by using guilt to stay up later, watch movies they previously were not allowed to see, or get food and toys they otherwise might be denied. As time goes by, the requests may become more unreasonable and if humored, it is possible that your children may begin demanding that you reconcile with your spouse. Not only does using guilt against you cause problems during a divorce, after the divorce is finalized, the pattern of making guilt-based demands can negatively impact your future relationships and the health of your parent-child dynamic.
Are They Actively Seeking Ways to Stop Your Divorce?
Older children and adult children may start trying to find ways to stop your divorce in its tracks, often failing to understand how delays can affect you emotionally or financially. While it is normal for your children to give their opinions on your divorce and talk to you or spouse about their feelings, trying to stop your divorce crosses many boundaries. In an effort to stop or delay your divorce, your children may try to contact your attorney, the judge hearing the case, or appeal to a therapist or counselor. Some children may even appeal to friends and relatives for help using social media, further complicating your divorce.
Discuss Your Concerns
Parents who are going through a divorce are often unsure about discussing their concerns with individuals outside of the marriage or relationship. That is understandable, but it is important to remember that the relationship between a divorce attorney and client is unique. Discussing your concerns with your attorney can help you determine possible solutions and keep your attorney aware of any developments that could impact his or her ability to represent you. The attorneys at Lawrence Law Office realize how hard a divorce is for you and your children. We are ready to talk about your concerns and help you decide how to proceed. Contact our conveniently located Columbus, Ohio office today and schedule a consultation.